


Keep Searching For Your Perfect Heart

by missingnolovefic



Series: di'verse [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Bigender Gavin, Fake AH Crew, Fluff, Gen, Insecure!Gavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 07:32:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10239077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missingnolovefic/pseuds/missingnolovefic
Summary: Gavin and Jack worked out a system. Now Gavin just needs to tell the rest of the crew how it works.Starting with Ryan.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For [ryanbiwood](http://ryanbiwood.tumblr.com): hmm for the raffle thing could I request fluff with fahc Ryan and fahc bigender gav
> 
> This happens before _All That I'll Ever Be_ continuity-wise, but after That Fic I Still Need To Write Where Gavin Figures Out Being Bigender

Ryan looked up as Gavin dropped down next to him on the couch, a peculiar look on his- her? face. Gavin glanced at him, then bit his lip, fidgeting nervously with the sleeves on his shirt. Ryan took the blond in, trying to ascertain what gender the lad was feeling today. The skirt and jewelry seemed to point towards a girl day, but they'd learned the hard way that it wasn't quite that easy. Sometimes Gavin just wanted to wear a skirt but still be treated like a boy, and Ryan tried not to make assumptions.

“So, what you're feeling like today?” he asked casually, and Gavin avoided his gaze.

“Actually, that's what I'm here to talk about,” she- he? said, rolling up her sleeves. She tapped her nails – no polish today – against the table nervously. “Jack and I've been trying to work out a system that works better than-” Gavin drew a circle in the air, grimacing. “-this. Not that you guys haven't been great! I know you try your best-”

“We do,” Ryan interuppted gently, grabbing one of Gavin's hand and entangling their fingers, squeezing reassuringly. “But we're aware we mess it up a lot. That's no one's fault-” He lifted a hand to stop Gavin as she opened his mouth. “-this is new to all of us, including you. And you deserve time to figure out yourself and what you want from this and how you want to live your life. You're allowed to change your mind if something's not working for you, or stops working for you. Okay?”

Gavin grinned sheepishly, nodding.

“Jack said something similar,” he said, scrapping her nails across her scalp with a sigh. “It's just- It feels selfish, you know? You guys are being so accepting and stuff, and I just keep mucking around. Like, why can't I just be happy with what I have?”

“Gav,” Ryan said seriously, tugging the lad under his arm and pressing close. “You're not a burden. None of this is. So what if you don't know yet? We'll figure it out. You wouldn't tell Lil' J off for not knowing what he wants his codename to be yet, would you? Even if his fashion choices could be better.”

“It's still Monster Truck for now, right?” Gavin inquired, and Ryan nodded. “Oh, okay. Good.” She sighed, dropping his head on Ryan's shoulder. “Point taken.”

Ryan rubbed circles on her upper-arm, letting his cheek rest on the fluffy blond hair. After a minute, Gavin relaxed, the tension draining from his shoulders as she slumped into Ryan's arms. He dropped his hands down to her side, squeezing gently.

“So what did you want to show me?” Ryan inquired softly, and Gavin took a deep breathe, shifting a little out of his embrace.

“Jack found these pronoun bracelets on etsy,” Gavin started, right hand coming up to trace along his bare left wrist. “I... I don't think I'm ready to come out to the world like that, especially on dude days when my gender fits my assigned sex, you know? Just... the thought of having to explain to strangers, or acquaintances that might notice the different bracelets on girl days vs boy days...”

Gavin turned his face to bury it into Ryan's shoulder, and his arms came up to wrap around the lad.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered, pressing closer. “I know that's selfish, it would make things easier for you guys, but I can't-”

Ryan shushed her, carding gentle fingers through blonde hair.

“It's alright. It's fine. If the system doesn't work for you, we're not using it, it's that easy. Breathe,” he rumbled, and slowly Gavin relaxed back into his arms. “I assume you found something different you wanted to try? Since you brought it up.”

Gavin smiled crookedly, wiping his arm over her eyes.

“Yeah, it's just- Jack came up with the idea. It's subtle and more work for you guys, but it's not as obvious-”

“Gavin,” Ryan interrupted, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Stop. It's fine. Don't worry about us, worry about yourself first. What did you come up with?”

Gavin sat back, shooting him a rueful grin. The blond stuffed a hand in his shirt pocket, dragging out a very familiar looking golden watch.

“I'm kinda known for all the gold shebang I wear, yeah?” Ryan nodded dutifully. “And I like my jewelry, but whether I'm wearing girlier or manlier jewelry has rarely to do with the gender I feel like expressing-”

“Like you're wearing a skirt right now,” Ryan added, trying to show his understanding. “But that doesn't necessarily mean it's a girl day today, right?”

Gavin shrugged bashfully, ducking his head.

“Today started out as a girl day, but I'm feeling more boy right now. But I'm still feeling the skirt, so... you know.”

Ryan nodded, humming an affirmative.

“Okay, so,” Gavin said, blowing his hair out of his face in frustration. “Basically, if I wear the gold watch, I'm feeling like a dude and it's he/him, yeah? But I'll also carry this around-” He dug into the other pocket, holding up a rosegold wristwatch by the wristband for his inspection. “-so when I'm feeling more she/her I can swap them out. Uh. Does that make sense?”

Ryan dropped their entangled hands on Gavin's lap, squeezing reassuringly. The lad ducked his head, avoiding his eyes with a blush.

“It does,” he tried to assure him, jostling his shoulder with his free hand. “Stop worrying, idiot. So, you want us to check for which colour watch you're wearing and use the correct pronouns accordingly, right?”

“Basically, yeah,” Gavin agreed, shrugging half-heartedly.

“Sounds simple enough,” Ryan told him. Gavin stopped fussing with his skirt to glance up at him from under long, blond eyelashes.

“Yeah?” he asked hoarsely, clearing his throat afterwards.

“It does,” Ryan promised, squeezing his hand again. Then he added with a teasing grin, “Hell, it's not even the weirdest request coming from you.”

“Oy!” Gavin protested, head jerking up to eye him suspiciously.

“Like that time you asked me to steal Jack's cargobob to stack four gold blocks on top of each other,” Ryan blithely went on, ignoring Gavin's squawking protests.

“That was art!” he objected.

“Or that time you convinced Michael to break into the military base, and I had to bail you out before Geoff heard-”

“-that was one time!”

“-or that one time when we cosplayed as firemen by dressing all yellow instead of stealing the uniforms-”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Gavin yelped, and Ryan broke out into a big grin. Gavin swatted at him, giggling. “Asshole.”

Ryan gasped, pressing their intertwined hands against his chest in mock-offense.

“Me?” he exclaimed incredulously, and Gavin laughed. Ryan's shoulders were shaking, too. “I take offense at that, good sir, yes I do!”

Grinning widely, he launched himself forward, pinning the lad to the couch. Gavin's eyes went wide, but he realized the threat too late, Ryan's fingers already dancing mercilessly over his stomach and armpits.

“Ryan!” he wheezed between bouts of laughter, squirming and writhing in place. “Ryan stop!”

Ryan gave in after a minute of breathless giggling, grinning brightly down at his tickle victim.

“Point taken, you mong,” Gavin gasped, nudging his knee into Ryan's side. He paused, shooting Ryan a calculating look. “You know, no one would believe me if I told them the Vagabond was a giant dork.”

“Which is why you won't tell them that,” Ryan warned, eyes narrowing playfully. Then he smirked. “Besides, it sounds way cooler if you frame it as _surviving the Vagabond attacking you_ , doesn't it?”

“I suppose it does,” Gavin mused, relaxing under the other man's careful weight. He fell silent for a beat, before shyly glancing up. “Thanks, Rye.”

“Anytime,” he promised fiercely, pressing another kiss into Gavin's hair.

**Author's Note:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158322277031/hmm-for-the-raffle-thing-could-i-request-fluff)


End file.
